I read a quote the other day from Paul Weinfield about the hero’s journey. ‘In the real hero’s journey, the dragon slays YOU. Much to your surprise, you couldn’t make the marriage work. Much to your surprise, you turned forty with no kids, no house, and no prospects. Much to your surprise, the world didn’t want the gifts you proudly offered it”.

I read it shortly after I had decided to change directions in my life again and go sideways. I needed to. My soul required it. I adjusted my role with my soul. Not up. Not down. Sideways. I don’t care about the stock market anymore. Nauseas gone. Throughout my life, I’ve been broke and rich, and in the end, when you figure out how to play the game in life, it doesn’t matter anyway. The wise know how to live within their means. There’s happiness found in minimalism.

Less is more. No more filling the hole in the soul with stuff. No more muddying the waters so they appear deep.

I suddenly realized I had enough money to live my life simply and peacefully. (Who the hell knows for sure, right?) So, it made more sense to take social security now, get with Medicare, and live the ‘senior life’ while I still felt young. I created a new website combining my music and life experiences into one…sort of a one stop Kevin Roth boutique and called it a professional day. And when I came to the fork in the road in my own life, I chose the spoon. I no longer ‘had to’ look for 100k Instagram readers, search for new business opportunities, or do anything I didn’t want to do. I hate PR, marketing, and being on the social media platform for my business. I could just BE. I downsized to a small apartment with my dog Bosco, 8 minutes from the beach and 12 minutes from downtown San Diego. A planned, lucky life. Now it doesn’t matter how many records or books I sell, how many concerts I give, or how many more podcasts I think I need to do to reach the masses. My spoon is full. Soul soup. Sideways.

It was an odd feeling to let myself off the hook. Today I got an email from a woman who asked me how I would like to make 20-35 thousand more a month with her business plan on LinkedIn. I said sure. Guarantee my money back if I don’t, and I never heard back from her. < grin>. I quit the gym and bought dumbbells. I listen to the Police’s Synchronicity album while working out instead of the tacky gym music, watching young muscle boys take selfies. Everyone’s a little industry now. I’m out. Good luck fellas. Sell those endorsements!!

So, now what? Because I love to write, and people seem to enjoy it as well, I decided to start this blog. I have a handful of clients I want coaching, and the idea of no future projects is appealing as hell. No guilt if I don’t make quota, no pondering the world’s conditions. I float like vanilla ice cream in a mug of root beer, laughing at how ridiculous I am for asking for a sugar-free root beer while downing home-made sugary ice cream at a shmaltzy ice cream store here in San Diego called ‘LICKS.’ I stopped trying to figure ‘IT’ out. I see life as the twilight zone and not much more or less. I marvel at how good Peter, Paul & Mary, Nina Simone, Shirley Horn, and Miles Davis still sound all these years later.

I shake my head at how the hell I managed to pull off a career playing the dulcimer for 52 years. God saved me from corporate. I smile with only slight dismay when I read 17 five-star reviews of my book, which took me heart and soul to write and never sold what the publisher predicted, and it doesn’t matter.
I look at a photo of me with Shary Lewis and Lambchop at The White House Easter Egg Roll and remember how blown away I was to hold the one puppet I grew up watching on TV. I was taken aback when Shary told me there were many Lambchops. HUH? Yes, she said…They wear out, you know. Never!! Not lambchop. Not me. Not You. And God forbid.. never my dog Bosco, my child who just turned 10. PLEASE GOD.

My astrologer Gurmeet told me I have a long life. Hmmm. When my body dies and is hauled off to a science lab, and my ashes float into the air, I most likely will go SHEESH… pondering my pain, ego, and life’s cosmic plan and wonder… Why I hadn’t eaten more tacos and root beer floats? Silly boy. Forgiveness is merciful.

To follow my ramblings, go to Kevinroth.org.